26 Comments

Thank you for writing and sharing this piece, Lilly! I dream of one day visiting Casa Azul. I also suffer from chronic pain along with mental illness and find living day to day to be complicated. Often, where creativity is a salvation, it simultaneously most days is also a struggle. I couldn't stop thinking about the memoir Frida Kahlo and My Left Leg by Emily Rapp Black—if you have not read it, I believe you would enjoy it.

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Lilly, although my pain is much more fitful than yours, it has shown how physical anguish, or even persistent discomfort, can disrupt the mind by driving out thoughts and feelings of other things. I remember being moved by the bed where Frida painted, but also by the many talismans of her abundant joy. I think of her as dancing with the almost unbearable rather than overcoming it.

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My chronic foot pain has brought me so much grief. While it's at a point where it's manageable, it has been a journey. Thank you for sharing this, especially not as "inspiration".

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I feel all of this so deeply. Those that know chronic pain, know chronic pain. And it is deeply appreciated to be seen in this way. Thank YOU. 🤎💔

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Thank you for this essay, on art, self-recognition, and pain. The writing is incredible, I felt I was walking alongside you in these places and spaces, physical and inner, as you led us on this very personal tour.

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Thank you so much!

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You’re very welcome! It takes a lot to try to write stories about people, events and experiences that are so central to one’s own truth, experience and life, and do them justice, I’m finding, and finding increasingly, with every story I attempt and undertake to narrate, in my new Substack publication, and experience on this platform. Even more so, I expect, when they connect and resonate so deeply with one’s own experience of pain, artistry/ creativity, and creating art amidst and despise the pain, as I can see Frida Kahlo’s clearly does, with you, to produce such a lyrical result. I admire that and will aspire to use the lesson to seek to keep working to achieve the vision I have with the stories I am narrating, and to try to do them justice, as I proceed and hopefully, in my process, to improve and grow. As well as those I am learning with every inspiring writer I encounter here on Substack—and have been thrilled and filled with wonder, to find, are many—since joining the platform in mid November.

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I loved reading this because I'm a writer living with multiple disabilities (and because it's a good piece). In fact, I became a writer because my disabilities often don't allow for me to do much else for long periods of time. Whenever anyone asks me about my artistic 'process' all I can think is the body decides. You are so right about the multitasking endeavour that is chronic pain. It is a constant, a north star, a guiding (and deciding) force that exhausts. My god, endless reckoning! Anyway, thanks for this. I found it comforting and insightful and validating. Wishing you wellness and peace.

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Thank you so much, Bobbi <3

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Thank you for sharing this, and I'm sorry for your suffering 🙏🏾 I live with a notorious pain disorder (CRPS) caused by a forklift accident. Sometimes when I'm writing in bed I envision all the other disabled artists — before my time and here with me now — who have shared this ritual with me. It's a really sacred space, and I love that you got to visit Frida's!

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As someone who has suffered from migraines early on, the fear and anxiety of "might fall sick again" lurking in the corner, the last two years it has amplified to the core. For the larger part of my life i took a pill and coped the busy lifestyle i knitted for myself, but in the last few years my physical limit had been hit. Just yesterday I HAD to forcibly get up after writing half a substack because i felt the dizziness and neck ache coming in. I often victimize myself and my creative journey, been getting frustrated not able to work, but this article reminded me of Frida's spirit. Thank you for sharing it in the words you did. Beautiful.

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Like i think this piece gave my pain the recognition and validation, i have probably not been able to give. Pain is pain. Thank you.

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<3

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thank you for writing this, lilly 🖤

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Thank you for sharing this.

I went there in 2022 and was struck by that, too. At the time, there was also an exhibit beyond the house, which included some of her art and journal pages about the pain and injuries, many of her painted braces and breastplates, and some clothing she had made to accompany them. I was definitely crying then.

My chronic pain is infuriating in the same way you describe it. And the multi-tasking! So many things are done in pain.

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Oof. I'm sorry for your pain, Lilly. And thank you for sharing. It can be difficult to know how to think about pain let alone how to write about it. I cut short my writing session yesterday due to back pain.

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Back pain solidarity! Yeah, it's hard to think about it as anything other than bullshit.

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I remember once when my first husband was in constant pain due to a terminal illness, someone actually said to me that pain builds character. I won't repeat my response, but no, there's no silver lining to pain and no romanticizing pain. All it does is hurt. Complete bullshit. I'm sorry you have to experience it.

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What a stupid thing for that person to say!!

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Unbelievably stupid and insensitive. I was floored. What's worse, it was a doctor!

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Yes, my friend, solidarity!

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I empathize with your chronic pain and how it affects your writing/art. I, too, have chronic pain, in more than one location. I don't know whether physical pain adds anything to art, but I don't think so. Emotional pain, however, certainly does. It's an interesting difference.

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I may have another comment coming (this is a wonderful piece) but your reference to the bus accident reminded me of using her painting called “The Bus” in a reading-writing workshop I once facilitated. I’m guessing you have seen this painting: https://www.fridakahlo.org/the-bus.jsp

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I have!

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Lilly, it’s just shitty and I’m so sorry. I just published a memoir that touches on navigating chronic pain. You could like it or hate it but I’d love to send you a copy! Would you be open to that? First Love is such a gift. Thanks for writing it.

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I'll never forget touring her former home near Coyoacán. The sadness woven through every room was a palpable presence.

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